Oh what that must look like. I find myself longing to feel the jealous love that Jesus has for me. I long to see his jealous love for you.

He won’t relent, and many waters can not quench his love.

I had a dream last night that the burn on my arm (I burned myself in the kitchen last week) wasn’t healing and it had become this gaping wound that I had tried to heal myself. It was deep and was obviously infected. I was going to go to the doctor the next day. I went to sleep and when I woke up the gaping wound was gone and my arm where it had been was purple. It was like a rectangular purple seal had been placed there.

As I’m writing this I don’t fully understand the meaning of it. When I woke this morning the song that is on my profile was in my head. I listened to it a few times. It talks about “I’ll set you as a seal upon my heart, as a seal upon my arm”( That comes from Song of Songs 8:6)

As a seal upon my arm.

I am amazed at how quickly this semester has flown by. I’m a little thankful that I don’t have to worry about tests and finals this next week, I have to say. Some words of advice though! Please study now! You’ll be so happy you did and if you just kick it into gear it’ll be over before you know it and then it’ll be Christmas!!!

I went to Dallas a while back to a conference (Living Faith, Seeking Justice) and learned a lot of things about social justice and what not. Something that stood out the most to me is how segregated we still are in our churches. I think this has always been an issue with me but it didn’t fully emerge until I went to Dallas. If we are going to pray “Your Kingdom come” then we need to start seeking after the Lord and asking Him to make the church look like His Kingdom. I dream of it and I believe that it will get there. I want to be more faithful in pursuing this and praying for it. It’s not just one sided either, it comes from all sides. I realize that. God can change people though and nothing is impossible for Him. Oh, how I want to see it now though!

God is teaching me a lot about believing and not necessarily seeing. Just believe. I don’t need all the facts and figures for something that can’t be explained in human thoughts or words anyway. I just believe, or at least I’m learning how to.

Since I’ve been reading this book with the other interns To Be Told, I’ve been discovering what, perhaps, could be how God wants me to live and what He wants me to do with my life.  What He’s been showing me and what I’ve been feeling doesn’t look like the “normal” thing to do.

Since I’ve been thinking about the themes of my life (see the To Be Told page) I can start seeing the patterns and themes that God and myself have written into my life. I’m going to be praying about it more, but after I’m done here at Wesley I feel like I am going to move back to Crestview. I’m not going to settle down and just go to church and that be my life. There’s way more to what God has for me than that. No matter where I go throughout life I want to challenge people and change the mindset of “being comfortable”. I want to live simply and sacrifice things (just because the world says you need it doesn’t mean that you do) and be hospitable (offer my home to people), and give even when I have no idea where my next paycheck is coming from. I want an adventure, not a predictable ride down a calm river.

I’m going to step out in faith in whatever direction I feel God leading, even if it’s the faintest sound of His voice, I’ll go. I don’t want to settle for anything less than that.

I really stink at updating blogs and what not. I said I was going to keep this updated, and look two months later here I am. I think those two months flew by though, so it’s not really my fault!

Anyway, the last few weeks have been good but super busy. Some of my good friends got married in the last two weeks, I moved in here at Wesley, we had work week and then this week is New Student Week. So it sure does feel like a huge whirlwind to be honest.

While I’m being honest, I have to say that I have a really hard time meeting new people. I wish it were easier for me. I’m always afraid of overwhelming someone with who I am. Does that make sense? Or sometimes, I’m afraid I won’t be able to have a conversation because I won’t know what to say. I don’t know, it’s something I think I’ve always struggled with and I’m ready to work through it and be better at it.

When I first got here as a freshman I didn’t talk to anybody. I was shy and timid and I would have rather sat in the corner and watch people than actually get up and go talk to anyone. I’ve certainly come a long way, cause now apparently I like to have attention, well only when I’m with Natalie j/k. I may even be borderline obnoxious at times I know it’s still something I need to work at.

So I don’t know, don’t let being shy or timid hold you back, you’ll blossom out of it or God will help you find a way to use it.

Hello everyone!

I am very excited to be here this summer and next year. I’m looking forward to the fall and being an intern. I can’t believe it sometimes. It seems like yesterday that I was walking up the front lawn to the BBQ not knowing anyone! I sure never thought that I would be here. It’s really amazing how far God has brought me.

I’m graduating in a few months with a degree in Biological Science! I hope that after my time at Wesley is finished that I will be able to use my degree. (I love science, I’m a nerd).

I promise I will try to keep this updated. Hey, I’ll even make it funny so you’ll read it! I hope that God will use this blog to help me to minister to others with what He teaches me and what I experience with Him.

Always feel free to email me (laurenh@fsuwesley.com) or see me if you ever want to talk about anything or just to hang out.

Lauren
Proverbs 31:25